Where I Need to Be
by fourthofjuly
Summary: Five years ago, Melody DeLuna gave up the chance to be with her favorite characters in lieu of a normal life. Now a college student struggling to achieve a normal sleeping schedule and defend her place as top of her class, she's suddenly thrown back into the chaotic world of Hetalia - and the nations have an offer she might not be able to refuse. [Sequel to "Viva La Vida".]
1. Chapter 1

**hey ya'll. this is the sequel to "Viva La Vida", which takes place five years after the events of VLV. melody's older and literally grown up both mentally and physically, so if she's "ooc", that will explain it. anyways. fuck hetalia. idk why i even got back into it lmao.**

* * *

 _Five Years Later._

"Mel, you're spacing out again," My roommate, Aria, snapped her fingers in front of my face for the umpteenth time that evening. "I swear, four years in college and you're still the worst person to study with."

I yawned, leaning back in my chair to stretch out my arms. "But I still study. And somehow manage to get A's on nearly every exam."

Aria shot me a half-hearted glare before rolling her eyes, taking a sip from her coffee mug. The floor of our shared dorm room was a mess of several different study sheets and documents from three different classes, along with four textbooks full of highlighted sections and hastily written sticky-notes. Our two am study sessions for the upcoming exams were coming along pretty well, seeing as we've covered almost three classes in only ten hours while running on only coffee and six bottles of 5 Hour Energy drinks.

"Want to take a break?" the redhead asked, taking off her glasses to scrub at one of her green eyes. "It's pretty late. Well, early. It's two thirty-two in the morning."

"Can we just call it a night? We can get up early and get breakfast at that new cafe. I'll bring my laptop and flashcards so we can study over omelettes."

Having liked my idea better, we decided to pack it in for the night. Er, morning. We left the ocean of papers and textbooks on the floor so when we came back from breakfast we'd just jump right back into studying, opting to just climb into bed. Our beds sat opposite of each other, along with our bedside tables and desks. The only things we shared was one dresser and the closet, which we had divided up evenly - or as evenly as we could get, seeing as Aria definitely had more clothes than I did.

I pulled the covers up to my chin, exhaustion weighing down my bones as I sank into my mattress. I faintly heard Aria mumble a good night before falling straight to sleep, having set her glasses on her bedside table along with her phone. My phone was still in the pocket of my sweatpants, and remembering this fact, I pulled it out to check any messages or emails I might have gotten.

One from Youka, two from mom, and an email from Tenshi. We still kept in touch despite having moved to different parts of the country, which made me really happy. There wasn't anyone else who I had told about what happened five years ago - mainly because I knew no one would believe me. Nate and I eventually grew out of our embarrassing anime phase and instead started acting like the stressed but responsible college students we are today, which explains why I'm top of my class besides Aria. It's mainly for my parents, but a small part of me wants to prove a certain blonde wrong about not being "super smart" in my classes.

For five years I replayed the memories in my head like a movie. It still didn't feel real, what he and I had still doesn't feel real. It felt like a dream - a crazy, fun, unrealistic dream. To think my embarrassing sixteen year old self was able to woo someone as straight edged and no-nonsense as _Germany_...

I eventually started feeling my eyelids begin to droop, and I tucked my phone back into my pocket. The last thing I remember thinking about was the blue of his eyes before sleep finally took me.

* * *

"I'm getting a sense of deja-vu."

"Maybe it's your futon. You haven't changed it in five years."

"It's still perfectly fine. And there aren't any in the market that catch my eye."

"Guess you're just gonna have to get used to finding sleeping girls on your couch, then."

I didn't remember leaving the TV on last night, especially since Aria has a strict no-entertainment rule around exam time. Maybe she woke up before me? No, we set an alarm for ten am that morning - did someone break into our dorm?

The thought woke me up enough to sit up and scrub my eyes, the blanket covering me falling around my waist. No one had broken in, thankfully, but that was because I wasn't in my dorm. Aria was nowhere to be seen, and our floor full of notes was gone. Instead, a small table sat in the middle of the room with two pillows placed on the floor next to it, and two very familiar men sat at the table casually having tea. As if a girl hadn't just popped out of nowhere onto their futon.

Then again, they seem to be used to it by now.

"Good morning, Melody-san," the shorter of the two said with a warm albeit small smile, bowing his head slightly. "It's good to see you again."

I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it. The man sitting across from him grinned, "You must be surprised. It's been quite some time since we've last seen each other. You look well!"

"I- I'm...I must be dreaming. No, I have to be," I mumbled, rubbing my face with my hands. "I think I've had too many energy drinks..."

"Melody, what makes you think you're dreaming? This _has_ happened before, after all." The brunet said, taking a calm drink of his tea.

I looked up from my hands to the two men sitting at the table. Japan and Cooper— who I thought had forgotten all about me— were actually sitting across from me, acting as if I were a welcome member of their household. Granted, maybe I _was_ , but it wasn't like I had any idea, I hadn't seen them in five years!

Eventually, the shock and denial wore away and excitement took its place. I couldn't get off of the futon fast enough to envelope both of them in possibly the tightest hugs I've ever given. I'm surprised I didn't cry, seeing as my face nearly split in half smiling so much.

"I just can't believe I'm actually here! _Again!"_ I laughed, pulling away from the hug to look at them both. "I feel like I'm sixteen all over again. Japan, where's everyone else? Where's Italy? And—"

"We've already informed everyone of your arrival," Japan replied, "and please, call me Kiku."

"Kiku, where's..?"

"He was the first person we told." Cooper answered, winking. "Judging by his military-fast reaction time, he should be here in no time, with Feliciano coming right behind him."

"I mean, that sounds pretty accurate, but I don't think I'm worth all that trouble—"

The sound of the front door sliding open interrupted me.

My heart leapt into my throat, and I was suddenly rooted to my spot in the middle of Kiku's living room. My legs wouldn't move, and arms felt like jelly and my hands trembled; I wasn't feeling your average kind of nervous, I was feeling _advanced_ , terrifying nervousness. I haven't seen him in five years, what is he expecting to see? The same, short sixteen year old who couldn't take anything seriously? Is that what he _wants_ to see? What if I wouldn't live up to his expectations, what if I've changed too much for him to even _recognize_ me?

"Japan!" The blonde's voice startled me out of my nervous trance. I looked to both Cooper and Kiku, wide-eyed and downright petrified. I could hear him getting closer, until eventually the door to the room slid open. "I came as soon as I could, is she really..."

The words died on his tongue as his eyes settled on mine. It was so _dreamlike._ It didn't feel real— _none_ of this felt real. To be standing in front of Germany one more time, older and wiser, felt otherworldly. I didn't think seeing him again would have such an effect on me, I mean, we didn't really get to _be_ anything when I was here before. But now...

Both of us were speechless. He looked exactly the same as I remembered him, but I'm sure I didn't look the same to him; my hair was longer, my skin a bit more tan, and I had grown a few inches so that I now reached his shoulders. He looked me up and down a few times, blinking slowly. I did the same.

Then, "You...You're taller."

I wanted to cry. I _did_ cry. I could feel the wet warmth of tears welling in the back of my eyes and before I knew what I was doing, I had practically leapt on him, burying my face in his chest. The way he held me was desperate— almost as if he didn't want me leaving again. And dear God, I hoped I wouldn't. Not again. I never realized just how much I missed him, how much I missed _them,_ even if it was just a stupid show, they took up years of my life even _after_ I gave the show up.

"You look the same." My voice was muffled through the fabric of his shirt. "Good. Don't change."

After the tearful reunion with Germany came more tears when Italy showed up, then the rest of the Allies - especially America, who I've never actually seen that excited before (he picked me up and literally swung me around in a giant bear hug. While it was nice, we weren't _that_ close).

Amidst the laughter and tears, I suddenly realized something. "Wait, Kiku, how'd I get here? Who wished me back?"

Everyone in the room shared a glance before looking towards a certain blonde nation, who coughed into his fist before looking down towards the floor. "It wasn't _just_ me."

"No, but you were the one who kept looking so _sad_ all the time." France piped up.

" _And_ you kept doing nice things for Cooper to get a wish." England added.

"Until I felt bad and decided to just give him one for free," Cooper said, "But it is true that Germany wasn't the only one who missed you dearly, Melody. Everyone did. In fact, the reason we wished you back was because we have a proposition to make."

"A proposition?"

The AI looked towards Kiku, who began to explain patiently, "We were all thinking about this, and we wanted to know if you would be open to the idea of becoming a country or capital. Of course, that would mean you would give up your normal life of a student and instead become immortal, like us. You would still be able to see your family, so don't worry."

I was dumbfounded. I looked from Kiku to the rest of the group to Ludwig, who all held hopeful expressions. They really wanted me to become a _country_ , just like the rest of them? Or even a _capital_ of one of their countries? I didn't know what to think, much less _answer_. I was still unsure whether or not this was even actually happening— it might be some fantastic dream. But the way they hugged me, the way they were looking at me right then made it obvious that this _wasn't_ a dream and I was actually being asked to join them as a country.

"If...If I _do_ agree," everyone seemed to be sitting on the edges of their seats when I spoke, "Which country would I be..? I thought all the countries were already personified."

"Not all of them." Feliciano said, shaking his head.

"Melody, we all agreed you'd be the perfect candidate for the country of Mexico." Kiku answered, nodding in agreement to Italy's statement.

I was surprised how well I was taking the news. It wasn't everyday that you get a chance to become an actual personification of a country, and yet, there I was: wide-eyed like a deer caught in headlights. "Mexico? Like, _Mexico_ Mexico?"

"The process isn't hard, either!" Alfred chimed in, "Doesn't hurt all that much, either."

"'That much'?" I repeated, my stomach dropping. "What exactly do I have to do to become a country?"

* * *

 **lmaooooooo i don't even fuckin kno dude. i pulled all of this out of my ass at 2 in the morning. drop a review if u liked :^)**


	2. Chapter 2

**yikes chapter 2** **bring it**

* * *

The actual process/ritual of becoming a country wasn't one that was done very often anymore. It was something that wasn't mentioned anywhere in the show, so I was completely lost when Kiku and Arthur explained it. All I understood was that in order to become the country, I had to take on all of the historic and impactful events that happened to that country— including the bad ones. It also meant taking on memories and events that would physically and mentally strain my body, so what Alfred was saying before about it hurting wasn't totally inaccurate. Seeing as Mexico was an old country, it's had it's fair share of disasters and triumphs.

"So..." I started, glancing over the dusty book that Arthur had handed me. Kiku and most of the others had left to make sleeping arrangements while Arthur had hung back to explain what the ritual was going to be like. "Everything I need to know is in here?"

"Yes," he answered. "That's the Book of the World. It has everything about every country written down in one place. It's very informative, but can be painful for new countries...or so I've been told. Make sure it's what you want before you open it."

I hesitated opening it. Once I open it, I'll be taking on the occupation of a _country_. I'll have to deal with harsh memories and complicated histories of Mexico's past— who knows what that'll do to my body and mind? "And I have to do it alone?"

The blonde nodded, setting a hand on my shoulder gently. "We'll be on the other side of the door if you do decide to go through with it. We won't leave you entirely alone."

I thanked him as he left to speak to the others, setting the book on the ground in front of me. My room had been prepared already, and I sat in the middle of it with my knees drawn to my chin to take some time to think. The large book in front of me was heavy, with a plain, deep brown cover consisting of a woven globe. The pages were worn and some were even torn, all of them yellowed and thick. I idly wondered where Mexico was buried under all of those pages until the sound of my door sliding open tore my eyes away from the book. Ludwig stood in the doorway, looking slightly bashful, but I could immediately tell he was concerned for me.

"Hey," I smiled half heartedly. "Everything okay out there?"

" _Ja,_ just the usual, bickering about who's sleeping where and with whom." he answered, shutting the door behind him and taking a spot on the floor adjacent to me. "But...what about you? Are you okay?"

I looked back down towards the book before me. "Honestly, I...don't know. I mean, sixteen year old me would jump on this opportunity to spend the rest of my life with you guys— with _you_. But..."

"...Sixteen year old you isn't twenty one year old you." He said softly, shaking his head.

"Exactly. Twenty one year old me is top of her class at a really good university, has great friends, a bright future ahead of her. Wouldn't that be stupid of me to throw it all away?"

Ludwig didn't say anything, but the answer was clearly written on his face: _yes._ It _would_ be stupid of me to toss my normal, average life away. To leave my family and friends behind to take on the dangerous position of a country. To spend the rest of my immortal life with the characters I've grown to love _so_ _much_.

"What do you think I should do?" I finally asked, scooting closer to him.

Gently, as if scared I'd draw back, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I think...you should do what would make you happiest. Melody, do you _want_ an average life, even after what happened five years ago, after what's happening _now?_ "

I leaned into his touch, thinking. "An average life would mean...graduating from college as valedictorian, getting my dream job, raising a family, growing old..."

"And is that...what you want the _most?"_

I sat up to meet his eyes, sighing. "I don't _know_. I want to do all of that, but...I want to be with you. It wouldn't be as fun without you, Feliciano, Kiku, everyone else..." I brought a hand to my nose, pinching the bridge of it in frustration.

"You really have changed."

"What?"

He gestured towards the fingers on my nose. "I've never seen you pinch your nose like that. It looks like something _I_ would do."

I chuckled, letting my hand drop down towards my lap. "Well, growing up and being stressed out twenty-four seven does that to you. I just don't know what to do here. Obviously, it'd be a dream come true to actually become a _country._ But what about my college degree? And what would my _parents_ think?"

The question hung in the air for a moment. This wasn't a week away from home during spring break like before, this was possibly _forever._ Like Kiku said, I'd become immortal— I'd outlive all of my friends and family. The only people I'd have in my life are the other countries. While I actually wouldn't mind being with them for the rest of eternity, basically, I don't think I would want to watch everyone I cared for die off while I stay living.

Ludwig finally sighed, running a hand through his hair. A few strands were beginning to fall over his eyes. "I'm...not saying you should stay with us, Melody. But I will be blunt: if you're happier here with us, wouldn't it be the obvious choice to stay? It isn't as if you won't be doing something important— you'll be a _country._ We wouldn't consider just anyone for that occupation. As ridiculous as the others make it seem, it's actually a big responsibility. It isn't easy. There are times when I hate being what I am."

As he spoke, I moved from the hold he had over my shoulders. "But if you knew how childish I was when you first met me, why did you even think I would be up for the job?"

The blonde kept his eyes downcast, voice gradually becoming quieter and quieter. "I couldn't— _We_ couldn't think of anyone else who would be more perfect for it. Seeing how proud you were of your nationality made it obvious enough. And I..."

My heart skipped a beat, heat flooding my cheeks. Ludwig had half of his face covered with one hand. "Don't tell me you actually missed me. I was..."

"So unlike anyone I've ever met." His eyes flickered from mine to my lips. I suddenly felt like the sixteen year old girl I had been when I first set eyes on him. "C-Can I..?"

Before I could even answer, both Ludwig's and my name were being called. A laugh bubbled out of my throat; how cliche for our "moment" to be stopped short.

We both stood, but before he could reach for the door I reached a hand behind his neck, bringing his face down to meet mine in a chaste but sweet kiss. Before he could melt into the kiss, I pulled away, "To answer your question, yes. You can."

* * *

Turns out, the others had called us out for dinner, courtesy of Japan. Seeing as how he had a lot of food prepared and set out, he had expected there would be company staying over at his place. I won't lie— dinner was nice. _Really_ nice. It was loud, gleefully chaotic and exciting; unlike the microwave dinners I've shared with Aria during cram sessions. That isn't to say I haven't eaten out with my friends before, but it was never like _this._ It was never on par with the nations.

"So, Melody," Yao started as he poured a small amount of sake into a small cup, "what is new with your life? You seem more...adult, aru."

I finished chewing the rice I had in my mouth before answering. "I had to grow up sooner or later. That isn't to say I'm no fun, though; if you consider cramming for exams and chugging five cups of coffee in one hour fun."

Arthur grimaced. "You should at least consider tea. It's much more cleansing."

"And also tasteless." I smirked before returning to my pork cutlet bowl. "I prefer coffee. Or 5 Hour Energy."

"What's your major?" Alfred asked.

"Chemical engineering."

Besides me, Ludwig started coughing lightly. "R-Really?"

I grinned towards everyone's shocked expressions, biting back a laugh. "Yup. It isn't that hard, actually, once you take a few courses. It's just a bunch of math."

"'Just a bunch of math...'" Francis chuckled. "You're all grown up. It brings tears to my eyes."

The rest of dinner was spent talking about my experiences in college, which included recounting getting shit-faced for the first time in my life. It was my second year in college and I had decided to tag along with Aria to a sorority party, but unknown to me, I couldn't handle my liquor very well. After chugging three cups of light beer I was drunk, and I only vaguely remember trying trying to take off my shirt and follow this guy into one of the bedrooms before Aria had declared it was time to get back to the dorm. The hangover the next morning was not a gentle one.

From college parties to high school graduation; we covered it all. It felt nice to relax and not worry about impending finals for once— it felt nice to actually feel _happy_ for once. It was strange to me how comfortable I felt around them, as if we had been old friends for years and were finally reconnecting. Even the stuffiness of the room was nice; being around so many people at once energized me.

After dinner had been eaten, I took a moment and stepped outside while the others began cleaning up and returning to their shared guestrooms. _It looks so domestic,_ I mused from Kiku's garden, _as if they had slept over a million times before._ _Maybe they have._

The garden was the same as I had remembered and occasionally dreamt it. If anything, it looked to be flourishing under the rays of the moon, rose bushes full of soft pink petals. The pond lay quiet and motionless, my reflection staring back at me as I crouched down besides it. It was here, I realized then, that I first started thinking of wanting to stay with the nations forever. Where I had my first kiss. Where the first bud of something much bigger than me started to bloom.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear the soft steps approach me. "Melody, you okay?"

I stood, surprised to see Alfred standing a few feet away from me. "Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine, just...thinking. I guess."

His eyes were bright even in the dark. "The whole thing about becoming a country?"

I nodded. "It's just so _hard_ to think about. Like, being an entire country and leaving behind my normal civilian life? It's just so...surreal. I never would have dreamt about this actually happening to me."

The blonde avoided my eyes, instead looking towards the pond. "Well...do you want to do it?"

"I...don't know. I want to stay with you guys, but...I can't imagine giving my other life up so easily, you know? Plus being a country is a lot of work, so I've heard, and—"

"Then, you don't have to be a country. You can just be my capital." His eyes met mine then, and a shiver ran up my spine. "Washington D.C."

I did a double take, nearly sputtering. "Alfred, you can't be serious."

"Melody, I'm not gonna lie," he paused to take a deep breath, then took a step towards me. I stayed glued to my spot out of shock. "I-I don't think anyone else would be better for it. I wanted to ask you before Germany asks you to be _his_ capital—"

"He was gonna ask me to be his capital?" I repeated, interrupting him. I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face or the warm feeling in my chest that spread. "Really?"

"I don't know, I just figured he was going to since he's, like, in love with you, but-but I sort of like you, too, and I don't really want you to be his capital because you'll be together all the time and that's kind of what _I_ want instead— oh." He stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide and cheeks glowing pink. I more than mirrored his expression; I was absolutely _speechless_. First, Ludwig was in _love_ with me? Second, _Alfred_ liked me? This was something straight out of a badly written fanfiction, and yet I couldn't muster up the ability to laugh it off or scoff it away.

Alfred looked and sounded _genuine_.

And the thing that broke my heart about it all was that I knew I didn't feel the same way.

* * *

 **lol i meant to address this in viva la vida but i couldn't really find a way to bring it up casually**


End file.
